Archive for abandonment

As The Snow Falls

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Standing outside just now, I watch my beautiful turkeys as they eat the corn and ‘coo’ among themselves

The silence of the falling snow drowns out the cries of my soul.  It’s sleek white blanket slowly covers the tears in my heart

Crystal cold air quiets my mind…if only for a moment or two

What peace it must be, to never feel the beauty of the snow.  Yet so sad this emptiness within

‘Good-by’ echoes in the frozen stillness of this winter wonderland

As I turn away,  I pray I pray that peace will prevail

Truly?  Is it better to go to sleep on an empty stomach?

Perhaps so.  Perhaps not.

cc:  dhee 02/2014

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Beware the Ghosts of the Past, Present, and Future! A factor in Improving your Life and Relationships

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Some time ago, I had ‘fallen’ for a man that I met at an event.  We seemed to really ‘hit it off,’ and we began pursuing our relationship with the intention of possibly becoming life partners.  The fact that his main language was Spanish, and my Spanish language skills very lacking, did nothing to make this pursuit easy.  The fact that he lived a completely different life in Mexico, and I lived in the States was a bit daunting.  Yet still.  We were both positive, strong people and we were optimistic about the possibilities!

Well, long story short, this relationship did not progress forward.  Yet I was stunned when he told me of something about myself, that I had never truly realized. He told me that he could not understand the way I presented myself to him; and he said that, “…the experiences of your past were like ghosts that came to you all the time…of fears, memories, worries, and even your ex-husband of over twenty years ago.”  In other words, he was basically telling me that I had emotionally weighed him ‘down,’ much like an anchor on a boat.

Considering that I spend the majority of my time thinking and researching ways to elevate the human spirit, I was devastated to hear this!  And the fact that I have done years of self-work, and think of myself as a fairly positive person…I was shocked to learn that he had made these observations about me during a time together when MY memory told me that this had been a wonderful, fun and uplifting time together!  WHAT?

Yes, of course, I DO know that I have had the bad habit of always looking at the negative side of things first.  And yes, I acknowledge that in conversation, I DO often verbalize my very profound viewpoints of why something ‘won’t’ work, before then acknowledging why it could work.  But really!  I KNOW I am a positive person.  Right?

Yet there was the truth…staring me right in the face…with that little ghost hovering overhead snickering at me.

Fascinating.  How could there be such a diverse difference between two perspectives?  And more importantly, is ‘that’ how I truly am?

Well, this statement got me to thinking about how I go about my daily life and my interactions with others…when I am NOT in the spotlight as a keynote Inspirational Speaker.  Dohh!  Major dichotomy, right?

His candid remark helped me to realize that I DO still have ghosts of the past affecting my life, both now and for the future!  Wow!  Now what?  How can I set an example for others to think and be positive and live in the ‘present,’ when I myself allow these ghosts to slip in and out of my life at will?

Ever heard of the statement, “Back to One?”  It’s a film cue for actors and such when the assistant director yells to them to go find their beginning mark for camera, because they need to do the scene one more time.   And often, this scene needs to be filmed again, because the first one was not quite good enough!

Well, Dana?  “Back to One!”

Ahhh well.  Sometimes it’s one step forward and two back.  Only, I do now know that awareness of a problem can be 9/10th the solution.

And fortunately, I also know that I need to get to the ‘root’ of this particular problem, so that perhaps I can truly change my inner dialogue…which will then change my behavior.  No sense in just putting a band-aid on a gaping wound, by ‘censoring’ my behavior.  Better to do a full-blown ‘spring cleaning’…find that pesky ghost hiding in the closet snickering…and kick it out of my head once and for all.

Haiiii-yah!

Well.  Here we go again.  “Lights…Camera…and ACTION!”

Cc Dana Hee, 2013

ABOUT DANA

Dana is an Olympic Gold Medalist, Top Motivational Speaker, 3x Hall Of Fame Martial Artist, Award-Winning Stuntwoman (over 17 years stunt doubling the leading ladies in Block-Buster Films such as the Batman Movies, The Terminator films, Charlies Angels, Peacemaker, Alias and MUCH more).  More importantly, she is a Life Survivalist whom endeavors to Inspire, Enlighten, and Elevate the hearts and minds of people around the world.

http://www.GreatThingsArePossible.com

TO READ MORE OF DANA’S INSPIRATIONAL STORIES…CLICK HERE

Thank you for viewing my stories!  Love and light to all!  Dana Hee

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Beware The Sunglass Effect – A Holiday Lesson

Thanksgiving Turkey Dinner

Everything has beauty, but not everyone can see. –Confucius

It’s the day before Thanksgiving and I realize that I need to keep reminding myself not to judge something or someone by my tainted beliefs.

This is my thought today after confronting what I believed to be a thief sneaking around in my yard early this morning.  And since I live in a very small, rural farm area where everyone knows everyone, these things do not generally happen here.

About a week ago, I was out of town when a suspected burglar broke into several places, including a truck and the small house of my sleeping tenants.  It was about ten or eleven in the evening on a dark stormy night with the rain pouring down like crazy and flooding the street outside.  Considering that we have recently had some good snowfall, and it is late November, I’m assuming it was crazy cold outside also.

According to a couple of neighbors accounts, ‘Manny,’ as he is known in this tiny, one horse Hispanic town had entered the gated and enclosed large community yard of several casitas that I manage and rent out.  This yard is used mainly for gardening and animals and provides a back access to five separate units or ‘casitas’ here.  Supposedly, Manny had approached one private yard, only to be turned aside by the barking dogs inside.

He then walked around or jumped a couple of fences and entered one tenants’ truck which was parked in the front driveway, and unlocked.  Word from one neighbor was that he was ‘hot-wiring’ the truck, and that he had intended to steal that tenant’s outboard motor that was attached to his small boat outside.  (This assumption was made and verified because Manny had left his jacket on top of the boat’s motor.  And since Manny has a background as a talented mechanic, it would’ve been easy for him to highjack the truck.  Thank God MY car was not there at the time)!

Well, supposedly, Manny’s attempt with the truck was interrupted (barking dogs?  people’s voices?), and he left the truck and took off.  Since his previous attempts at thievery had been foiled, Manny then turned to another neighbors house.  Jumping the six foot secure fence, he then rummaged around the back of the house looking for a way to enter in the dark.  Hearing the noises, the wife of the couple living there commented to her husband that she thought someone was outside and trying to break in.  They were watching TV, and her husband at first did not believe her.  Yet as the back kitchen door rattled again, he realized she was right, went to get his gun and a flashlight.

Opening the door, he barged outside and found Manny quickly walking away, towards the front of the property where a six foot gate secured the area.  Recognizing the thief as Manny – someone he had known of for many years – my neighbor then demanded an explanation for why he was attempting to rob him and his wife.  “What have we ever done to you?”  “We used to give you our business, and this is how you repay us?”  My neighbor was very indignant when he related this story to me.  I could just imagine the scene as he related it to me.  Manny cowered by the front gate while searching for a way to open it to escape.  “How do you get out of here?” Manny stuttered to my neighbor.

“What are you doing here Manny!”  “How did you get in here?”  my neighbor queried.

“I fell asleep at the church, and I woke up in here.”  “I don’t know.” Manny kept telling him.

“Don’t you play dumb with me you M>F!”  “You obviously jumped my fence and were attempting to rob me!”  “Maybe THIS will help you remember how you got in here!”  And my neighbor lifted the gun he had been hiding and pointed it at Manny.

“You should have seen how quickly Manny jumped that gate,” my neighbor exclaimed.  “He was just lucky that my wife was yelling for me not to shoot him!”

So what happened after this I asked him.

“Well, it turns out that my wife had called the police and that the dispatch office had recently received numerous calls about him breaking into various places.”  “So they already had a policeman in the area, and they came around the corner and found him walking on the street.”  “They arrested him and took him to jail.”  “Good riddance!”

“Though, I know they won’t hold him!”  My neighbors wife said with contempt.  “The police never do their job!”  “If someone goes to rob you or break into your house, they do nothing.”  “Yet if you try to protect yourself or your property, YOU are the one prosecuted!”

It was a day or so later, when I was at our local community store and mentioned this fiasco to the owner.  “I hope your tenant prosecutes him!”  “He’s a bad man.”  “He’s always stealing things, and he even stole things from the church!”

Reflecting on this, I thought how fortunate I was that nothing truly bad had happened, and that this man had ended up in jail!

So when I awoke at seven am this morning to the persistent barking of my dog, I was surprised to see a man sneaking through the community yard over by the tool shed.

“No.”  “Surely that is not the same man!” I exclaimed to myself as I hurriedly shoved my feet into my boots, threw on my jacket and stuffed my hat down over my wild hair, and flew out the door into the freezing cold and snow.

Blinded by the glare of sun on snow, I reached into my pocket and grabbed my sunglasses and slid them on as I strode angrily towards the now quickly departing man.  I caught up to him just as he opened the previously locked gate to make his exit.

“What do you think you are doing?”  I exclaimed with anger.  “And what is your name?”

“I’m Manny,” he said as he started to walk off.

“You are the one that broke in here a week ago!”  “This is a private property.”  “You can’t do this!”  “It’s against the law!”  “Don’t you ever come here again!”

Manny continued onwards down the road as I called the police dispatch and followed him to see what direction he headed.  After only a few houses down, he sat on the front porch of an abandoned house and I quickly informed the dispatch as to his location.

An hour later, a policeman showed up and took my statement.  Then he mentioned to me that he was the arresting officer from a week back, and that he had taken Manny in that night for mental evaluation.  He also said that this man was homeless, had nowhere to live and no one to help him.  The officer sadly proclaimed that the government system for dealing with such a man was proving hopeless.  At which point, I angrily asserted that, “So we are to let a man do whatever he wants and break into places, since he is not in his ‘right mind?”  “This is ridiculous!”  At which point, the officer quickly agreed this was a problem.

It was several hours later, after the sun had thawed some of the snow and left the slick gooey mud to attach itself to my boots like glue, that I ventured out to double check my turkeys, ducks and chickens.  It was then that I noticed…several places on the ground… that Manny had spread the cracked corn for my critters.  He had gone to the toolshed, not to steal.  In the midst of his own aloneness, possible hunger and cold…he had simply had the desire to bring some food and comfort to another.

As I thought about the warm roof over my head and the abundance of food in my house, and the promise of Thanksgiving dinner with friends tomorrow, I realized how easy it is to see the world through the eyes of our beliefs.

Cc Dana Hee, 2013

ABOUT DANA

Dana is an Olympic Gold Medalist, Top Motivational Speaker, 3x Hall Of Fame Martial Artist, Award-Winning Stuntwoman (over 17 years stunt doubling the leading ladies in Block-Buster Films such as the Batman Movies, The Terminator films, Charlies Angels, Peacemaker, Alias and MUCH more).  More importantly, she is a Life Survivalist whom endeavors to Inspire, Enlighten, and Elevate the hearts and minds of people around the world.

http://www.GreatThingsArePossible.com

TO READ MORE OF DANA’S INSPIRATIONAL STORIES…CLICK HERE

Thank you for viewing my stories!  Love and light to all!  Dana Hee

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Olympic Day. A Gift To Give!

An Olympian With an ‘Olympic Day’ Perspective

Just yesterday, a very shy six-year-old girl approached me with downcast eyes and caved in shoulders. 

“Can I have your autograph please?” She spoke in such a whisper of a voice that I could barely make out her words. 

I was suddenly blind-sided by the familiar pain of childhood, and the memory of my mother’s voice in my ears of, “You are not good enough and never will be!” 

You see, this little girl reminded me of what I was like when I was six years old…abandoned, abused, and raised in an orphanage in remote Louisiana.

Now as a mature woman who has conquered extreme odds and risen from the ashes to hover in the clouds with accomplishments in Olympics, Hollywood Film and Life…this little girl reminded me that I have been given a great gift in life; that of self-confidence, self-esteem and courage. 

Greeting her with a smile I said, “My what pretty blond hair you have!” “What’s your name?”

“Sylvia” She replied quietly…still not meeting my gaze.

“Why do you want my autograph Sylvia?”

Looking at me for the first time with blazing blue eyes and a very slight smile, she replied, “One day, I want to be strong like you!” And she quickly lowered her eyes once again.

“Well, Sylvia, do you know what I think?” I asked her as I took the crumpled up paper from her hands and straightened it out. She shook her head to answer ‘No.’ 

“I think you already are strong Sylvia.” “You just don’t know it here (and I touched her head), and here” (and I gently pressed my fingers above her heart).

“You see?” I continued. And she looked up at me with a puzzled look in her eyes. “It took a LOT of courage to come up here and ask me for this autograph.”  “So this tells me that you ARE brave and very strong!”

“Really” she spoke in a much firmer tone?

“Really!” I replied and I signed the autograph, gave her a big hug and then handed the paper to her. 

She giggled as she took the autograph and clutched it tightly to her heart. Then with her head held high and a beautiful smile on her face, she turned and skipped her way back through the heavy mass of kids, teens and adults crowding around.

With a radiant smile on my face and a warm feeling in my heart, I turned and greeted the next person in line.

Later, as I walked back to my car to leave, I realized that the most wonderful gift that I had been given in life…was to have the privilege to share a little bit of courage, self-confidence and self-esteem with those who needed it most.

To me, THIS was what ‘Olympic Day’ was truly about!

Dana Lynn Hee

(Posted on Facebook June 23rd 2010)

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If I Should Die Tonight, I am Grateful

1. Baby picture

I am reminded this evening after I finish a wonderful BBQ that was shared  with the very old man, my neighbor…and sit quietly contemplating in the darkening skies….I am reminded of how grateful I feel about my life.

I am grateful I was born and then abandoned to orphanage. For worse would surely have come.

I am grateful for the insincere love and lack of love…for these experiences helped to wizen my heart to those whom I now know are not to be allowed into mine.

I am thankful, that I left my house an early age, for even though I endured humility, I encountered thankfulness and the bond of human nature.

I am eternally grateful to my Foster Parents, and the organizations that assisted in giving me assistance along the way, including the wonderful, stable, loving home with my Foster family.

I am appreciative of the lessons I learned from my younger days of love…searching for my dreams of a wonderful man.   For this taught me what is NOT healthy….yet gave me the desire for a true love and companionship.

I am eternally thankful that God allowed me to spare my life that one moment of dire distress…for he then opened up the world for me to new and wonderful opportunities.

That one, powerful experience, sent me on a journey of the unknown…the un-forseen…and definitely, the unprecedented.

My life?

Changed forever.

And now….as I sit (no…not wealthy or living high)…enjoying the cries of the peacocks and the children still playing basketball nearby?

I am at peace. For I have been given so much in life…that if I should die tonight. I will have no regrets.

Basically? I am grateful for everything. The good…the bad. The wise, the sad.

It is all good in the end. For it makes us who we are.  And what a blessing to just be.

I am very thankful.

dana hee

(posted on Facebook, April 2, 2011)

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A Message Of Love From The Other Side Of Life!

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Last week, I was suddenly hit with a very deep, despairing, emotional thought that I had made a horrendous mistake with my dying mother last year.  She was in Hospice care with only a short time left to live.  Her main lifelong dog had just died, and because of certain circumstances, I had had to vacate her house and belongings, getting rid of many things….many of which I know she had loved dearly (trinkets, chotskies, that held personal meaning to her).

When I was with her a short time after all this had taken place, she asked about her dog.  I told her the truth.  She asked about her house and belongings.  I told the truth.  I could not bear the thought of lying to her.

She died a short time later.  And I believe she finally ‘let go’ of life because these things she loved were no longer there waiting for her to return to them.

The moment, revelation I was hit with last week, was, “WHY did I just not lie!?”  “Why did I have to tell her the truth?”  “Surely it would’ve been better for her to leave this life, holding on to her dreams of returning to her dog and life and things she loved so dearly?”

And then I realized, that if it had been me?  And My dogs, or other such loved things?  I KNOW I would rather die believing in my love and longing for this!

Well I kicked myself severely for hours over my BS decision regarding this.  Yet, check this out?  The next day, first thing in the morning (still feeling sad and morose), I was looking through some posts on a social network.  Within 20 seconds of perusing, I came across not one, but TWO very distinct notes or messages that spoke very clearly to me that they were messages from my mother!

The one, perhaps…could be debated as maybe not truly from her?  I mean, would my mom really say something like that, about loving me…when she had spent a lifetime convincing me otherwise?  

At least this is what I was thinking until I immediately came across the second one that had a picture of a heart necklace exactly like one that I had given her at some point and she had kept this in her Bible.  Unbelievable. Comforting.  And truly Wonderful!

What I take away from this experience is this. 

If I am in a similar circumstance again?  I will not hesitate to ‘lie,’ or at very least and preferable for me…to just not tell the truth. 

And wow!  I did not know that one could really receive a message from a deceased loved one!

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FINDING COURAGE WITHIN!

Dana...second from left...in the Orphanage

STARLIGHT STORY

(Age 5)

 Abandoned by our mother when I was three, my two brothers and myself were placed in an orphanage where we were raised for the next 11 years.  It was touch growing up…feeling lost, alone and unloved.

Yet eventually, my mother did finally get back in touch with us, and would occasionally write or call, with promises that she would come visit or come and take us out of there to live with her.  I remember the rare times when I would receive a letter during mail call, and I would gallop all around the dormitory, waving that letter high in the air.  And then there was the time that I actually got to talk with her on the telephone, and she said she’d be coming to get us the next day to go spend the summer with her. I was so excited, I couldn’t’ sleep all night long.

So the next morning I convinced my housemother to let me wait for her on the front steps.  Shortly after breakfast I sat down on the cold stone steps, waiting, watching, hoping.  As each car entered the long circular driveway, my heart would beat a little faster, and I would shield my eyes from the glare of the sun and try and make out who it was.  As each car left with their excited, laughing children…my heart would sink a little lower.  Finally the bell rang for lunch, and I pulled myself to my feet, and went off to the cafeteria.

“Perhaps later” I said to myself!  After lunch, my Housemother, told me that, “No one will be coming to pick you up,” and that I would remain at the home, once again during the long summer vacation.

It was late that afternoon, that I sat in the deep grass and clover on the playground, beneath a huge sweet smelling Magnolia tree.  I watched the few kids that were left, playing a game of Jump Rope.  And as I thought about that morning, the familiar pain of abandonment wrapped it’s tight hold around my heart, and a feeling of hopelessness spread through my soul.

The bell sounded for us to gather in our groups and head inside the building, so I quickly wiped my face and walked across the lawn towards the huge stone steps.   I walked up the steps with the other children, then paused for a moment before entering the doorway.  I turned around to take one last breath of the fresh sweet air before heading inside to the dark, musty smelling dormitories.

It was then that I noticed…there on the horizon in the twilight, just above the tree-line…a single star glittering brightly.  Quickly, I closed my eyes, crossed my fingers, and whispered to myself…“Starlight, star-bright, first star I see tonight.  I wish I may, I wish I might…have the wish I wish tonight.

And I made that wish…just before the hall monitor, smacked me on the backside with a ruler, and ushered me inside.  Later, in the quiet of the night, I held close to that star in my mind as the tears fell like rain down my cheeks.  Muffling my sobs in my pillow, I paused for a moment as a thought suddenly appeared in my mind.  It was three little words that I had heard in a Sunday school church sermon… “Be not afraid!”

Taking a deep breath…I thought about those three words and the light they held within, began to lend me their courage.  Quieting down…I dried my tears with the edge of the sheet, and finally fell asleep, dreaming of my wish on that star.

It was a wish that I repeated, year after year.  And it was a wish that always gave me a glimmer of hope…even in my darkest hour…for as a child, I believed in the power of wishes and stars and the three little words, “Be not afraid.”  And my wish was for love, a place to call home, and a happier tomorrow.

Hello!  “You can also visit my services as a Motivational Keynote Speaker listed on Thumbtack and get to know more about what I can do for YOU!”   

Cheers!

Dana

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