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Be Remembered, Not Forgotten

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I so admire people who can walk up to a complete stranger and get that person talking about their life or thoughts. I myself am fairly good at this from time to time, yet nothing like the lady I ran into at a recent 4th of July BBQ. There were about 40 of us out there on this 4,500 acre ranch next to Tom Ford’s massive property outside Santa Fe, New Mexico. Many of us didn’t know each other, yet most were happy to have you introduce yourself and engage in a few minutes of small talk. And then, there was this pretty lady, probably in her late 40’s. She marched up to me and told me she wanted to know more about my Olympic win. She had such a light in her face and keen interest in her tone of voice. She made me feel interesting and important. And though I tried to turn the conversation back to her, she successfully navigated me in another direction. Throughout the remainder of that day, I observed her chatting earnestly with quite a few others, and I was amazed at how easily she could engage just about anyone. Driving home from the ranch that evening, I thought of the people I had met and realized that although there had been a lot of nice, ‘well to do’ people there; the conversations they initiated were always about ‘them’ and how important they were. The one exception was that wonderful lady and how she made me feel special. As I turned off the dirt road to enter the highway, I thought of a quote from the late, great Angelou Maya, “People do not remember what we do or say. They remember how we make them feel.”

 

cc:  danahee 2014

 

 

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Destiny Is A Choice!

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We live, We Love, We Win, We Loose

Our destiny given, yet our fate to choose.

Who are we that can choose, you may say

Our path is given, we dare not stray!

Yet it is there within our heart, we know the truth

Our life is ours that only WE can prove.

Do not doubt, our destiny is clear

Only also know this, no matter what may seem

So much MORE is ours to redeem.

So rise, I say and claim your bounty.  

Choose your fate, over your seeming destiny.

The power you see, is up to you.

Do know that destiny can deceive.

And choose your life with the simplicity

That it truly is up to me.

We live, we love, we win, we lose

Our destiny given, our fate to choose.

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cc: dhee July 2014

 

 

 

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Stress! And How To Combat This. II

Listen with your heart!

When you are stuck in a quandary and cannot see the forest for the trees, it is wise to let an outside source help you with your needs.

Yet as much as you may want to…you cannot listen to someone when your mind is on overload and your heart is on empty.

So when you truly want to make a change that is beyond your ability, or even beyond your comprehension….

What do YOU think you need to do?

All you need to do is focus on what you CAN control, and let another help you with what you cannot.

The truth is simple you see. And it will set you free.

For an outside thought, a helpful hand or the clear insight into your soul can once again make your heart whole.

So take the advice of a friend, take that hand or the advice from your soul. Then listen and act. And once again, you will feel the freedom and joy your negative thoughts stole.

Now…how to act you ask? When you seem frozen in time? That is soon to come as I transcribe to paper my experiences on same and the certain knowledge of this in my mind.

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“The Gift of Human Kindness”Why is it, that sometimes, we have such a hard time showing our ‘love’ and ‘compassion’ for others?

Why do we pass by the people on the street, seemingly destitute and in apparent ‘need.’

Why do we ignore or putt off the phone calls from our family members or friends complaining of their issues?

Why do we ignore the instincts of our hearts and minds and then feel that sense of ‘regret’ later?

It’s called, self protection!

Now…is this ‘right,’ or ‘wrong?’ I am not one to say, for I am not a licensed therapist. I only note and write about many of the things that ‘I’ go through in life, in an effort to help myself as much as others.

What I DO know is this. That we are as strong and helpful to others, as we are to ourselves. Sound selfish?

Consider this. If I am feeling ‘ok’ with life, and feel I have patience and tolerance in my soul, then I can call my mother and deal with her numerous chaotic, emotionally draining, neurosis’s. If I am ‘not’ in ‘that place,’ I can offer zip, zero, zilch support! And in fact, I become the catalyst to the next volcanic eruption!

If I am feeling ‘full’ of the energy of ‘life,’ than I can offer some of that energy to others. If I am feeling ‘empty’ and ‘deprived,’ ‘weak,’ ‘sick,’ or otherwise ‘compromised’….I can offer little to my fellow human beings.

What about you?

What would you LIKE to be able to offer your loved ones, or perhaps, the down-trodden, the ones incapable of helping themselves?

And more importantly, how can we all help ourselves have more compassion, empathy, caring, and ability to ACT to help others?

One word. Regeneration!

We need to re-energize our OWN soul…our own sense of happiness…our own sense of power…our own sense of PEACE and GOODWILL, before we can help another.

If we try and help another when we ourselves are feeling ‘down and out,’ what happens?

In my case, I have found that my energy level creates that which it comes from. If it’s a ‘high’ positive energy….it creates wonders. If it’s a low, self-protective, conservative energy, it creates more problems than it helps.

What about you?

What would you LIKE to be able to offer your loved ones, the down-trodden, the ones incapable of helping themselves?

Me, for one, I would love to be able to be more tolerant and protective and compassionate of my mother. I would love to be ‘there’ for my brother’ who is often-times ‘on the street’ and always subject to hunger, cold, danger and death. I would love to be there for my friends in need, as they need. And I would love to be there for those whom cross my path in need of a kind word or deed.

Is this too much to ask for?

Not….if I take time to help myself…so that I can help others.

(Coming soon…how to ‘re-generate’ your soul!_)


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Increase Your Interactivity and Productivity by Holding Hands


Ok…my lesson from the past few days w/my good friend Doctor Mark Cheng is how I can multiply effective interactivity and productivity by ‘hand-holding.’ Sound strange? That’s what I thought at first!

First of all…I never really had anyone holding MY hand while growing up. So the concept is completely foreign to me! Yet…I can definitely see it’s value…especially as my goal is to reach out and help others achieve goals and happiness!
Can you imagine how great it would be to multiply YOUR results from YOUR interactions?

Hand-holding is a tool in interacting w/others. I have found that there are times as a Motivational Speaker, that I have not really ‘reached’ all of my audience members. So I’m constantly working on improving upon that. Dr. Cheng helped me understand an easy way to do this, simply by making sure to make that all important ‘connection’ w/each person in my audience by tying THIER personal experience and emotion into MY personal experience and emotion.

By tying an individuals own experience in with mine, it makes it easier for each person to truly relate and connect with what I am saying. This way, it’s as if each person is holding my hand and walking with me as I share my journey and experience with them.

‘Hand-holding,’ is a step by step process in helping your associate, your customer, your client, your partner, your loved one get in touch with their own personal experience/feeling so that they can then relate to the power of your story, and/or the benefit of your product.

For example, I have found that it’s our hopes and dreams that can keep us going in the toughest of times.

Have you ever experienced a moment or several, where you felt ‘abandoned’ or ‘un-loved? Perhaps there was a time when you were a child, that your mom or dad was late in picking you up from school or practice? And with each passing moment, you got more anxious and embarrassed. Where, one by one, all of the other kids were picked up and went off smiling and laughing, while you just stood there waiting? And the longer you waited, the more your feeling of rejection, anger, hopelessness increased. Now of course, I’m sure you did eventually get picked up, or you walked home, and probably forgot all about it a few days later. But, what if that happened to you over and over again? What if you kept expecting for your parent to show up, but they never did? Wouldn’t you feel even more hurt?

Now, take that feeling that you experienced, multiply it by 100 and you might have an idea about how I felt, so many times back when I was in that Orphanage. Here’s one particular story from my childhood, after my mother abandoned myself and my two brothers when I was three, and we were placed in the Masonic Home for Children, where we stayed for the next nine long years…

“My mother did finally get back in touch with us, and would occasionally write or call, with promises that she would come visit or come and take us out of there to live with her. I remember the rare times when I would receive a letter during mail call, and I would gallop all around the dormitory, waving that letter high in the air.

And then there was the time that I actually got to talk with her on the telephone, and she said she’d be coming to get us the next day to go spend the summer with her. I was so excited, I couldn’t’ sleep all night long. The next morning I convinced my housemother to let me wait for her on the front steps.

So shortly after breakfast I sat down on the cold stone steps…waiting, watching, hoping. As each car entered the long circular driveway, my heart would beat a little faster, and I would shield my eyes from the glare of the sun and try and make out who it was. As each car left with their excited, laughing children…my heart would sink a little lower.

Finally the bell rang for lunch, and I pulled myself to my feet, and joined the small line heading to the cafeteria. “Perhaps later” I said to myself! After lunch, my Housemother pulled me aside and told me that no one would be coming to pick me up, and that I would remain at the home, once again, throughout the long summer vacation.

Late that afternoon, I sat in the deep grass and clover on the playground, beneath a huge sweet smelling Magnolia tree. The gentle sun was fading as I watched the few kids that were left, playing a game of jump rope.

As I thought about that morning, the familiar pain of abandonment wrapped its tight hold around my heart, and a feeling of hopelessness spread through my soul. Just then, the bell sounded for us to gather in our groups and head inside the building, so I automatically wiped my face and walked across the immense lawn towards the front entrance with it’s huge stone steps.

I walked up the steps with the other girls, then paused for a moment before entering the door. I turned around to take one last breath of the fresh sweet air before heading inside to the dark, musty smelling dormitories.

It was then that I noticed…there on the horizon in the gathering twilight of evening, just above the tree-line…one single star glittering brightly. Quickly, I closed my eyes, crossed my fingers, and whispered to myself…“Starlight, star-bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might…have the wish I wish tonight. And I made that wish…just before the hall monitor, smacked me on the backside with a ruler, and sent me inside.

It was a wish that I repeated, year after year. And it was a wish that gave me a glimmer of hope…even in my darkest hour…for as a child, I believed in the power of dreams, wishes and stars. And my wish was for loving family, a place to call home, and a happier tomorrow.”


Well, that wish upon a star, that ‘dream’ kept me going for many, many years! And that’s why I KNOW about how powerful our hopes and dreams are to our sense of well being. They are the light at the end of the tunnel. They are the candle in the darkness of night. They are our salvation when we have nothing else to turn to. So, please. Whatever you do, do not abandon your hopes and your dreams!

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