Some time ago, I had ‘fallen’ for a man that I met at an event. We seemed to really ‘hit it off,’ and we began pursuing our relationship with the intention of possibly becoming life partners. The fact that his main language was Spanish, and my Spanish language skills very lacking, did nothing to make this pursuit easy. The fact that he lived a completely different life in Mexico, and I lived in the States was a bit daunting. Yet still. We were both positive, strong people and we were optimistic about the possibilities!
Well, long story short, this relationship did not progress forward. Yet I was stunned when he told me of something about myself, that I had never truly realized. He told me that he could not understand the way I presented myself to him; and he said that, “…the experiences of your past were like ghosts that came to you all the time…of fears, memories, worries, and even your ex-husband of over twenty years ago.” In other words, he was basically telling me that I had emotionally weighed him ‘down,’ much like an anchor on a boat.
Considering that I spend the majority of my time thinking and researching ways to elevate the human spirit, I was devastated to hear this! And the fact that I have done years of self-work, and think of myself as a fairly positive person…I was shocked to learn that he had made these observations about me during a time together when MY memory told me that this had been a wonderful, fun and uplifting time together! WHAT?
Yes, of course, I DO know that I have had the bad habit of always looking at the negative side of things first. And yes, I acknowledge that in conversation, I DO often verbalize my very profound viewpoints of why something ‘won’t’ work, before then acknowledging why it could work. But really! I KNOW I am a positive person. Right?
Yet there was the truth…staring me right in the face…with that little ghost hovering overhead snickering at me.
Fascinating. How could there be such a diverse difference between two perspectives? And more importantly, is ‘that’ how I truly am?
Well, this statement got me to thinking about how I go about my daily life and my interactions with others…when I am NOT in the spotlight as a keynote Inspirational Speaker. Dohh! Major dichotomy, right?
His candid remark helped me to realize that I DO still have ghosts of the past affecting my life, both now and for the future! Wow! Now what? How can I set an example for others to think and be positive and live in the ‘present,’ when I myself allow these ghosts to slip in and out of my life at will?
Ever heard of the statement, “Back to One?” It’s a film cue for actors and such when the assistant director yells to them to go find their beginning mark for camera, because they need to do the scene one more time. And often, this scene needs to be filmed again, because the first one was not quite good enough!
Well, Dana? “Back to One!”
Ahhh well. Sometimes it’s one step forward and two back. Only, I do now know that awareness of a problem can be 9/10th the solution.
And fortunately, I also know that I need to get to the ‘root’ of this particular problem, so that perhaps I can truly change my inner dialogue…which will then change my behavior. No sense in just putting a band-aid on a gaping wound, by ‘censoring’ my behavior. Better to do a full-blown ‘spring cleaning’…find that pesky ghost hiding in the closet snickering…and kick it out of my head once and for all.
Well. Here we go again. “Lights…Camera…and ACTION!”
Cc Dana Hee, 2013
Dana is an Olympic Gold Medalist, Top Motivational Speaker, 3x Hall Of Fame Martial Artist, Award-Winning Stuntwoman (over 17 years stunt doubling the leading ladies in Block-Buster Films such as the Batman Movies, The Terminator films, Charlies Angels, Peacemaker, Alias and MUCH more). More importantly, she is a Life Survivalist whom endeavors to Inspire, Enlighten, and Elevate the hearts and minds of people around the world.
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Thank you for viewing my stories! Love and light to all! Dana Hee